Dear Doris Kearns Goodwin : Will You Go Out With Me?
I have had a crush on Mrs. Goodwin for as long as I can remember, I have no idea when she first came to my attention but from the beginning I thought she was a fascinating woman, smart, interesting, a good sense of humor and, yes, beautiful. And she even used to be a sports journalist and probably knows more about sports than I do. Be still my heart.
It’s not something I think about often, I see her on TV on a regular basis, I read her writing but we have no friends in common, so like anyone famous that anyone would have a crush on, it just gets filed away in that little part of your brain that stores the silly stuff like this.
But today a friend mentioned in his eMail that he really likes Mrs. Goodwin. He loves reading about history and because of where he now lives, he has plenty of time to read. My friend is in Federal prison, under what could be a life sentence depending on how long he lives. But that is a sad story for another day.
My response was automatic. I wrote, you like Doris Kearns Goodwin, I LOVE Doris Kearns Goodwin and my crush kicked in with the force of a GE9X jet engine firing up on a Boeing 777X. I wrote that I would marry her today and, well, I would…probably.
At this time I am sure there are a few questions, the most common one, I imagine, being, dude, you do realize she is 79 years old? Yes and that is not a problem for me, at all. See, thanks to the circumstance of my life I have a different point of view about age than, I would guess, the average person.
My mother was 45 when I was born, the “baby” of her family as she liked to say, and my father was 65. I pretty much only had family that was old as I was growing up. I realized early on that age is simply a part of getting older, nothing more. People that are smart, dumb, fascinating, or boring tend to be just that when they are both young and old. Sure, we all do gain some wisdom as we get older but, in my opinion, that is an over-rated cliché. I have known a few old people that proved, very clearly, that they were simply idiots, while knowing people that even as children were much smarter than the average bear, so to speak.
I get it, I am a guy, at 56 I am supposed to want a beautiful, sexy woman of 35 who will hopefully make me forget that the clock is ticking and that we all die eventually. I understand the appeal, the sex drive is a powerful thing and what guy, hetero-sexual guy, does not want to have sex with a young, beautiful woman?
Here is where my wisdom kicks in, I have had some mind-blowing sexual experiences in my life but that is not what comes to mind when I think of those moments in my life that I truly treasure. I treasure those moments when someone truly made me laugh or made me think about a topic in a manner that made me rethink my whole opinion and point of view on a subject. And, of course, like most human beings, how can I forget those women that I was in love with.
I can imagine talking for hours and hours with Mrs. Goodwin day after day and never getting bored and with any luck she would not get bored by me. I can think of about 1000 questions off the top of my head that I would have for her about her books and history and, even, those important questions of life, such as, is John Heilman a prick, and I love the guy, or is he a nice guy you enjoying spending time with?
I know what you may be thinking at this point, do we have some kind of obsessed stalker on our hands? No, not at all, Mrs. Goodwin and her family and friends have absolutely nothing to fear from me. I can promise you that and we know how much most people value a promise made by a complete stranger on the Internet. Plus, even if I had some insane desire to stalk someone, let’s be honest, who has the time?
I also realize that she is a widow, married to Richard Goodwin for 42 years, and may no longer be interested in a relationship or even dating. I can understand that and am willing to simply be her friend. Either way, I am still picking up the tab if she would be willing to have dinner with me.
Well, once I publish this I can only hope that Mrs. Goodwin gets an opportunity to read it, so, if you happen to be reading this and are family, a friend or simply know her, I welcome you to pass this on to her and, in return, I can offer you this, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.
If Mrs. Goodwin just happens to love the movie, Caddyshack, from which I stole the last seventeen words of the last line above, she may just be the perfect woman.
Do I have any expectation that even if she reads this that we will be dining together, of course not, but a man can dream and I would certainly be very happy to know that she read this and it simply put a smile on her face, that beautiful face.
